5 Things We Learned On Our Not So Perfect Family Vacation

I know it’s easy to look at other people’s family vacation photos and romanticize them. We can’t help thinking, “our family vacations are a mess! Someone’s always unhappy. Or has to pee. Needs a snack. Is tired. Or wants to go home. What’s wrong with us?” Those other people have all the cute travel outfits, no one is sunburned or dirty, and they’re having all the fun, artsy, studious, and adventurous outings. In short, their vacation is perfect.

I’m here to dispel the myth. Guess what? There’s no such thing as a perfect family vacation. For us, there are all kinds of glorious vacation moments, sprinkled with a whole lot of far less magical ones. It’s taken me years to accept that when we travel with 6 people, the odds of all 6 of us being happy at once, all the time, are almost zero. Especially if you have a passionate child or two, like I do. They sometimes struggle with the constant fun and activity of vacation.
And you know what, THAT’S OK!
We can still have a fabulous time, even if one person in the group isn’t loving it as much as the rest. Because at some point on the trip, we all will be happy. Maybe even at the same time! I’ll hold onto those moments so tightly. And then I’ll just laugh at the others.

For example, the other day we were about 3 hours into our family vacation. That’s right. 3 hours! We’d just finished eating breakfast together and I wanted to tour the beautiful Santa Barbara courthouse. I’ve wanted to visit for years but every time I suggest it the kids are anxious to get back on the road and finish the rest of our journey. But this time I put my foot down. “We’re doing it! It’s beautiful and amazing and I know you’ll love it”

All 4 of my kids voiced complaints. They’re usually so good about following me on adventures. But for some reason they just couldn’t get on board with visiting this place. So many years of saying no meant they’d decided it was no forever? I don’t know why they so stubbornly refused, bu no one wanted to go. They were sure we needed to get back on the road. and head towards our final destination. I was irritated by their stubbornness. And even what I perceived to be their selfishness. “Really? You can’t just say, “ok mom. We’ll do it for you!” They couldn’t. I ended the conversation by telling them to stop being jerks and I marched off towards the courthouse.😬😂

That shook them up and a couple changed their tune immediately. Mom tantrums can do that. The others took a bit longer. But by the time we were done touring that beautiful building, guess what? They ALL thought it was really cool! And they were glad we went. I knew that would be the outcome, and that’s why I pushed back against their push back.

What’s more, that little adventure will become family lore. “Remember when mom called us jerks and none of us cared about seeing the architecture of the Santa Barbara courthouse but mom made us go anyway? And then we actually liked it!”
See? I gave them that. Mom tantrums always make the best stories. A few tantrums here and there over the course of their childhood is really a gift you give to them to carry into adulthood and chuckle over with their siblings for many years to come.

The truth is, there are so many lessons to be learned on family vacations. These are lessons I hope my kids will take with them into life, while vacationing and also while just living. Here are 5 we learned in the first 3 hours of our family vacation this year.

1. The destination isn’t the goal. Enjoy the journey. Don’t be so driven to get to the destination that you forget to stop and enjoy life along the way. 

2. Family vacations aren’t all about any one person. None of life is! So even if this isn’t your favorite part of the trip, make an effort to enjoy it for the person who is loving it. 

3. Say yes to new things. There’s a good chance you’ll be happily surprised by something you imagine will be boring or dumb. Life is full of wonderful surprises. 

4. It’s ok if not everyone’s happy. The trip isn’t ruined if all the people aren’t happy all the time. There will be moments when everyone is happy. And that will be wonderful! And for the other moments, you just hug the unhappy person and say, “I’m sure we’ll do something you love later.” And give them some time to adjust their attitude without letting it ruin yours. 

5. Mom is always right. Well not always. But a lot of the time. And I can say this with conviction because my mom was right about so many things. 

Whether it’s a trip to a local destination or you’re traveling far from home, there is so much to learn when we adventure together. And even in the moments that are less than stellar, all is not lost. You know my motto, “it will make a great story later.” It always does!

If you happen to be in Santa Barbara, I can’t recommend a visit to this spectacular courthouse enough. Yes, even if your kids don’t want to go. Its free to go inside, explore, and climb to the top of the tower for beautiful views. You can find visiting hours and how to take a free tour with a docent by visiting this site here. I’m already looking forward to going back and learning more about this beautiful spot.
Cheers to adventure, and embracing all the not so perfect, but still wonderful parts of our lives.

Greta

Falling In Love With My Body Again

Guys, I want to talk about body image. And aging. And exercise. Let’s get down to the nitty gritty. (All my Nacho fans out there, holla!). After a 7 month hiatus from working out, my body is finally healed enough that I’m able to exercise again. It’s been glorious! It's been humbling. And I've learned a lot.

It started with a step aerobics class that my sweet, encouraging husband invited me to take with him a couple weeks ago. (read about it here) Not because he’s a big step aerobics fan, but because he knew I needed to start somewhere, and step aerobics seemed low key. It was so fun. And it was hard! Before my injury, I was climbing 8 foot walls and 15 foot ropes to the ceiling. I could knock out 100 burpees in a workout. And here I was now, huffing and puffing in step aerobics.

But I was so happy to be able to move my body without pain that I didn’t care. That time away gave me a deep appreciation for a body that could move without excruciating pain. That mattered more than weight gain, loss of muscle tone, and a drastically altered fitness state. I just cared that I could move! My focus changed. 

Still, as I looked at myself in the mirror every day and saw this new me, I struggled. There are parts that aren't my favorite. Because the thing is, no amount of photo filters, dressing for my body type, magical face creams, organic tonics and elixirs or spanx can change the fact that I’m a flabby, middle aged woman, with 20 pounds to lose, a stubborn hair that keeps growing out of her chin, crepey neck skin, spider vines on her thighs and a receding hair line. That isn't body shaming. It’s just the truth.

But guess what?
Those things don’t describe how my heart feels! My heart feels 20. Or 16. Or sometimes even 12. Light and young and happy and full of life! And when I exercise, the feelings in my heart become louder than the outside voices that fill my head.

When I exercise, my heart says, you are beautiful. Even if I haven’t lost a pound. When I exercise, my heart says, you are strong. My heart says, yes you can climb trees with your kids! My heart says, go ahead, flirt with your husband. My heart says, who cares about that chin hair? Pluck that sucker out and move on!

With time, exercise should change some of that flabbiness and weight gain. But I’ll still never match the standard of outward beauty that the world throws at me. It’s simply not possible. And that’s exactly why I love exercising. Because when I exercise I fall in love with my body for what it is and what it can do, instead of hating it for all that it isn’t.

Ladies, we need to stop lamenting the fact that we don’t look like the photoshopped models we see all around us. Or even like the other women just like us who we see on social media everyday. Instead we need to rejoice that our bodies can nurse babies and bend over to make beds. We should celebrate that we are walking or running, taking step aerobics or going mountain biking. We should be grateful for a mind that is fed and fueled by good books. For a heart that is filled with compassion. For a smile, even one without perfectly white teeth, that fills other people with joy and makes them smile in return. There is so much more to us than those stupid Instagram filters show. Or don’t show.

So let’s stop comparing ourselves to others. Let’s rejoice in what we can do and in who we are—flaws and all. In fact, I pray that we can grow to see ourselves in this way:
“She was beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines. She was beautiful, for the way she thought. She was beautiful, for the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. She was beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile, even if she was sad. No, she wasn't beautiful for something as temporary as her looks. She was beautiful, deep down to her soul. She is beautiful.” F Scott Fitzgerald.

Isn't that an incredible description of true beauty? I have that quote hanging in my kitchen to read daily. Because it encapsulates the kind of beauty I long to emanate, the kind that matters most. It’s the opposite of the beauty the world tries to tell me matters most. It’s a beauty that comes from the heart. May we all be that kind of beautiful!
Love you all!
Greta
And because I can't write a post without a book recommendation, here are 3 books on this subject that I want you to read with your kids.  Because we all need to start helping our children, girls and boys, have this understanding of what true beauty is.
The books are: 
The Velveteen Rabbit
The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane
Wonder. 
If your kids are 9 and up, I'd read all 3. If they are younger than that, start with the Velveteen Rabbit and then work your way up to the other 2 books.
And don't just hand the books to them. Read them aloud together! Let the stories sink into your minds and hearts. Talk about them! And then, revisit those stories now and again. Books are such a good place to begin to help our kids that true beauty comes from the inside. 
 

Home Schooling 101: How to do Nature Study with your Nature Group

The longer I use nature study as the means of teaching my kids science, the more I love it.
It lays such a great foundation for them for further study of the many different branches of science.
“Consider, too, what an unequalled mental training the child-naturalist is getting for any study or calling under the sun — the powers of attention, of discrimination, of patient pursuit, growing with his growth, what will they not fit him for?” (Charlotte Mason Vol. 1, p. 61).

When we first began home schooling,we did nature study on our own.
We’d collect nature finds out on our weekly hikes, come home research them, and then the kids would draw and paint them in their nature notebooks.
It was good, but after a time, I was wanting to do more.

So several years ago our home school group decided to engage in a more focused method of nature study together.
We’d chose a topic for each term, let our kids to study this topic together, add specific focus to some of our weekly field trips, and then have the kids share presentations with one another at the end of each term.
The focus of our group is for fellowship with one another each week, spending time in and studying nature together, to adventure and learn together.
We weren’t wanting to change into a science co-op.
We just wanted to add a more focused nature/science study to what we were already doing.

With a little planning and thought, our vision became a reality.
It has been a fantastic way for our kids to study science together!

Here is how our group does it:
Every term we pick a new science topic to study.
To find those topics, we follow the nature study schedule from Ambleside Online.
You can find the nature study schedule  here.

There are 3 topics of study per year, one for fall, winter and spring.
Each family approaches the study in their own way.
We do share resources and ideas, books, websites, and lessons that are working for us.
And when we plan our schedule of field trips, we all try to keep in mind any hikes, classes, or trips that fit into our topic of study and then add those to our schedule.
Its been a great way to add some more focus to our nature study together.

For example, when we studied weather, we visited the campus of UCLA and attended a class taught by the head of the meteorology department.
We also visited a historic lighthouse.
When we studied stars and sky, we visited the Griffith Observatory and Planetarium in Los Angeles.
And we went to a rocket launch at Vandenberg Air Force Base!
For reptiles, we visited a reptile zoo, and for brooks, rivers, and oceans, we visited tidal flats, some creeks, and tide pools.
For cultivated crops, we visited an olive packing house.
And even on field trips that aren’t specifically focused on our nature study, we can’t help finding ourselves thinking about the topic and seeing it everywhere we go.
Its really fun!
 

At the end of the term, the kids all do presentations related to the topic of study.
Again, its up to each family how they want to choose the topic.
It seems like most of us just let the kids lead the way picking something that really interests them and is somehow related to our topic.
And they have a great time doing their presentations.
As they have presented on bugs, birds, trees and outer space, they have made dioramas, sculptures, home made food, smoothies, games, and lots of presentation boards.

Of course, standing up in front of a group and presenting also gives our kids those all important socialization skills.
I’m sorry. 
After a lifetime of being asked about socialization, I just can’t resist a little teasing when the topic comes up.
I assure you, presenting to a group of moms, toddlers, pre-schoolers, and an array other, multi-aged elementary students, is a real boost to those social skills.
In fact, our biggest problem is that our kids are all so social, its hard to get them to stop presenting or asking questions after each presentation.
They’ve got this socialization thing in the bag.
 

Doing nature study this way has been a really great for my kids.
They love learning like this with their friends.
Its given them more focus when we are out together each week.
And more excitement as they discover things together.
 

For us moms, it hasn’t added any extra work.
In fact, I have found its really given me more direction and excitement to study nature and science this way.
Its become one of my absolute favorite subjects to teach to my kids.
Because basically I am learning alongside them.
I never loved science as a kid, but I sure do now!
“If getting our kids out into nature is a search for perfection, or is one more chore, then the belief in perfection and the chore defeats the joy. It’s a good thing to learn more about nature in order to share this knowledge with children; it’s even better if the adult and child learn about nature together. And it’s a lot more fun.” Richard Louve

For more of my thoughts on nature study, and nature notebooks, you can read my post about it here. And for more on starting your own Nature Group, read my post here. 

Cheers to learning through nature!
Greta